Thursday, February 14, 2013

It's Valentines Day!

And this is the picture I've been saving to show my lack of appreciation for this fucking holiday...being single has its merits I'll admit that but damn it's lonely sometimes. But it's okay, I've accepted that as a combination nerd, blogger, video game addict, accountant I'm more than likely going to die alone! Plus on the bright side I don't end up like one of my pitiful non-single friends!

Long story not abridged in any way, his girlfriend has been knitting for ten years...and she hasn't gotten any better...ever. For this Valentines Day she decided to show him her love by, you guessed it, knitting! Normally this would be fine but she actually knitted him a sweater and now expects him to wear it through Valentines Day. The poor guy, let's call him Jarv, was on the verge of tears when he told this to me. You see Jarv, unlike me, goes to the University of Texas at Austin. Here at UT Arlington the population of the school is fairly small, but at Austin it's fucking HUGE. Wearing a sweater like that to your classes is equal in embarrassment to walking to work in New York City and realizing halfway through you forgot both your pants and underwear (and your dick is small).

So now Jarv is stuck with a girlfriend who thinks she's good at knitting, despite my attempts to persuade her otherwise, and wearing that sweater which even the devil himself would not make anyone wear all damn day. You know what I no longer care if I'm single or not. I don't care about Valentines day. I'm just glad I'm not Jarv eh?

~I condone the murder of any girl that does this to her poor boyfriend on Valentines day, seriously it's a fucking mercy to the poor guy...